Big Time Nuisance
by Kate-Emma
Summary: Logan/Camille - When Logan accidentally terms his last relationship as one involving him dating his 'stalker', he successfully upsets Camille as well as attracting the attentions of a fangirl who just won't leave him alone...
1. Logan vs Teen Hits Magazine

**Disclaimer: **BTR belongs to Nickelodeon

**A/N: **Dedicated to every BTR & Logan Henderson stalker. Yes you crazy army of 13-year-olds, this is for you! ha ha

Big Time Nuisance

Logan/Camille

When Logan accidentally terms his last relationship as one involving him dating his 'stalker', he successfully upsets Camille as well as creating himself a small group of fans that deem Logan an easy target for their affections. Now he's being attacked by a very rabid fan girl who won't take no for an answer and only one person can help him – Camille.

Chapter One;  
>Logan vs. Teen Hits Magazine<p>

"Four guys from Minnesota find fame in L.A. You can't write this stuff."

Logan nodded. "Pretty incredible right?" The woman across from him smiled warmly back. "But it's true…" he held out both hands as he said it, speaking quickly. "I mean, we're real people, just to clarify."

The woman, who had introduced herself as Sarah Patterson, gave a curt laugh. "Don't worry Logan, this isn't one of those 'expose the fraud band' articles." Logan visibly relaxed. "You're our 'meet the next big thing' of the week."

"Oh, cool," his head tipped just a little. "So, what do you want to know?"

"Nothing too obtrusive I assure you. Just things like favourite sport, what you do most when you're not recording an album with Big Time Rush, best place to relax on a Saturday afternoon. Things like that."

Logan counted them off on his fingers as he answered. "Hockey. Avoiding Bitters, the slightly crazy guy in charge around here." Sarah gave a short laugh. "And," he motioned to the pool behind them as they sat in the Palmwoods courtyard. "Chillin' by the Palmwoods pool."

Sarah jotted his answers down quickly. "Awesome. Okay, if you could have any superpower, what would it be?"

"The ability to stop time. Then I could get everything I need to do done."

"Okay, don't want to fly?" She glanced up at him. "I thought everyone wanted to fly?"

Logan simply shrugged. "If I had the time I could figure out how to build an aeroplane then I wouldn't need to."

Sarah laughed again. "Okay, last one. Most interesting person you've met in L.A?"

Logan frowned for a moment then smiled. "Camille."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "A Big Time girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend. We're still friends." Logan clarified.

"So, interesting how?"

"Well, she kinda scared the bejeezus out of me when we first met. A bit… forward. Always there when you turned around."

Sarah smiled. "You started dating your stalker?"

Logan laughed. "You could say that."

…

"'YOU COULD SAY THAT!'" Logan felt the paper hit him in the face before he even registered her standing nearby. He swiped the magazine away and looked up into the angry face of Camille. She glowered at him. "You called me a stalker?"

"I never called you that, the journalist did, I just…"

"Agreed?"

"Didn't correct her."

James, who was sitting next to him beside the pool, picked up the magazine. "Oh mate that is 'ex-girlfriend etiquette number 101' – don't calm her a freak, controlling or a stalker, no matter how true they may be." He glanced up at Camille as she crossed her arms, raised an eyebrow and glared at him. "I mean… you… I didn't… oh look, it's Buddha Bob!" Jumping from his seat James managed to scarper away so quick it almost defied belief.

"Look, I'm sure Logan didn't mean it that way." Kendall put in, ever the peacekeeper. "Plus he called you interesting." He pointed to the article with a grin.

"Interesting good or interesting weird?" Camille attempted to clarify. Logan opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out and he gave a small shake of his head before looking away. Camille growled. "That's all I needed to know!"

She made to turn away when Logan stood and grabbed her arm. "Look, I am sorry okay, I didn't mean to upset you." Camille's frown faded a little. "Do you hate me now?"

"No," she looked up. "Now I'm worried for you." Logan frowned, his forehead creasing as he did, then he gave a half smile.

"Me? Why are you worried about me?"

"Because you're still new around here and you don't understand how this town works yet." Camille slid her arm from Logan's grasp and crossed them again. "You just opened a very big can of worms." Kendall stood, listening as Camille continued. "You just told every slightly insane Big Time Rush fangirl that the best way to win a date with you is to stalk you." Kendall frowned and Logan gave a slight gape. Camille just gave a brief smile and a shrug before stretching out an arm and patting Logan calmly on the shoulder. "Good luck." Then, holding her head high, she walked away.

Logan glanced at Kendall as she left the poolside. "I'm in trouble now aren't I?"

Kendall nodded slowly. "Yes mate, you are." He glanced at his watch. "Oh look, I have a date with Jo, tell me how this goes." Then, just like James, he was gone.

Logan frowned and sighed. "Well, at least I have you Carlo…" but when he turned Carlos had disappeared as well, his drink glass still shaking a little. Dropping back into his sunlounge Logan just shook his head and picked up the magazine, flipping it open over his face. "Pfft, stalker fangirls, yeah right I…"

"Hi!" Logan lowered the magazine slowly to find a short ginger-haired girl, teeth covered in braces, smiling down at him. She held a picture of Big Time Rush in one hand, a giant love heart drawn around Logan's face. "I'm Ebony!"

Logan just covered his face with the magazine and gave a low groan.


	2. Everybody's Two Cents

**A/N: **I added in a sub story about Jo/Kendall as well as some mischief for Carlos and James. It doesn't feel like BTR without Carlos' zaniness, James' adorable vanity and Kendall being… Kendall. Enjoy.

Chapter Two;  
><span>Everybody's Two Cents

"HELP!" Logan's squeaked out whisper made Kendall look up and he took a double take as he spotted the small ginger-haired girl rushing after his friend. Shooting Jo a look across the table, Kendall stood and frowned down at the girl, knowing full well what had just happened.

"Hi, I'm Ke…"

"I know who you are!" The ginger child grinned happily. "You're Kendall Knight. You have 14000 followers on Splashface and two fan websites dedicated to you: we love kendall dot ink and kendall is dreamy dot ent." She beamed and turned her attention to Jo. "Jo Taylor from New Town High. Recent polls on we-love-btr dot ent suggest 45% of BTR fans like your relationship with Kendall." Her tone turned a little darker. "55% do not."

Jo stood too. "Oh-kay." She frowned then managed half a smile, glancing at Logan. "Who's your little friend?"

Logan's frown seemed permanently stuck to his face. "Ebony, from Orlando."

"I ordered my parents to come to LA once I saw that article in Teen Hits." She produced a business card and Kendall took it slowly, showing Jo. "I am the administrator at we-love-BTR dot ent, the number one Big Time Rush fan site, we love you guys."

"Oh, thanks but… why are you here?"

Ebony smiled warmly at Logan. "Because the article just spoke to me."

Logan's eyes went a little wider as Ebony looked up at him, batting her eyelids, and Kendall grabbed Logan's arm. "One moment Ebony." He pulled Jo and Logan closer then dropped his voice. "Camille was right."

"I know that now!" Logan whispered back, his voice raising an octave as he answered, his brow furrowed. "Help me!"

Kendall glanced at Jo and she continued. "I'm afraid this is your bed Logan, you made it, you're going to have to fix it." She smiled softly and looked at Kendall. "But I know what we can do."

Kendall nodded. "Sounds good."

Logan glared. "Do either of you want to tell me any time soon?"

Jo shrugged. "There's only one person I know who knows everything about Hollywood, fans and somewhat bizarre behaviour others would call over-the-top."

"Camille." Kendall ended quickly.

"Oh no, I can't ask her to help me, she'll kill me!" He looked at Jo. "You should have seen her. She was like," Logan crossed his arms and glared, doing his best impersonation of an angry Camille. "I'm more scared of her than I am of that!" He thumbed back towards the girl.

"Really?" Kendall turned Logan around to find Ebony standing there holding the picture of Logan, stroking it lovingly. Logan blanched then looked back at Jo.

"Fine, what do I have to do?"

Jo smiled. "It's simple. Camille makes that face," she waved one finger at him, "not when she's angry but when she's hurt. You need to go reason with her. If necessary, I want to see you beg."

"Yeah, that might do him some good." Kendall agreed.

Jo grinned. "Absolutely."

Logan glanced between them. "You know this double-team you two have got going on – just as weird as her." Then he turned back to face Ebony. "Hey, wanna go meet a friend of mine, she'd love to meet you?"

Ebony nodded eagerly. "Of course, I'd love to know all your friends, so we can all be firm friends soon enough. You know how hard it is when your friends don't like your new girlfriend." Logan's face crinkled as he bit back a disgusted look and he managed a very weak smile. As he glanced back at Jo and Kendall they both gave him a thumbs up. He trudged off with his head hung.

…

"You know what ruins a perfectly good chocolate bar?" Carlos murmured aloud, staring down at his chocolate bar, ignoring James' bored expression. The pair had disappeared at the first sign of Logan's trouble but now the coast was clear they'd returned to the relative quiet of the Palmwoods pool. "Not enough peanuts."

"Then get one of those peanut bars." James replied quickly, flicking through the latest issue of 'Man's Fashion – the magazine for fashionable man'.

"No, that's too many peanuts. I can never find a chocolate bar with the right amount of peanuts, nougat, marshmallows and wafer." He looked up. "I'm sure there's a fine art to it."

"Not really," Buddha Bob spoke up from behind them and they both turned. "My cousin invented a chocolate bar once. Not a big one, the Neptune Bar, but he made a bit of money from it."

James flicked back one page in his magazine. "You mean this guy?" A hairy man looked back at them from the magazine. He looked identical to Buddha Bob except he wore a suit.

"Yeah, that's him, cousin Rich we called him."

James looked at Carlos. "He made $10 million on that chocolate bar!" He tapped the page eagerly. "And married a supermodel!"

Buddha Bob nodded in his usual nonchalant way. "Natasha is her name. She's from Sweden."

"Ten million dollars. Swedish supermodels." Both James and Carlos muttered at once, staring off into their own little worlds.

Carlos sat up quickly. "We're making our own chocolate bar!"

James threw down his magazine with a flourish. "I'm with you buddy. Let's make some money."

"And girls." Carlos crooned.

James jumped to his feet, one finger raised, a grin on his face. "To the kitchen!"


	3. Little Answers

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone for the awesome reviews, you all make me feel so warm and fuzzy. I plan on getting out about two more chapters and then I'm on holidays so please hang in for an update. I will get this finished as soon as I can. I'll just have to watch more BTR for research… it's hard but I'm prepared to do it! ;)

Chapter Three;  
><span>Little Answers

Logan gave Ebony half a smile then knocked again, even harder than before, on the door of 10C. After a fiddle of the door it opened and Camille frowned out at him. "Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

She sighed. "Logan, I don't m…" she trailed off with a frown. "Um, hi?"

Logan glanced behind him to Ebony who now stood glaring at Camille. "Oh, Ebony this is my friend Cam…"

"Camille Roberts, actress." Her eyes narrowed at Camille. "Your ex." She looked at him. "You're friends with your ex?"

Logan gave an awkward chuckle. "Yeah, I, uh…" then, ducking under Camille's arm, he shut the door in Ebony's face and leaned against it. "Have you met my new 'girlfriend'?"

Camille just laughed in his face. "Oh, and it begins…" but quickly her laughter died away and she frowned at him. "You're here to ask for my help aren't you?"

Logan's shoulders slumped and he gave a little sideways half-smile. "I could really use it, yes, even if I don't deserve it."

"You're right, you don't deserve it, but you can't use it either." Logan's frown returned. "You have to get rid of her Logan, not me, otherwise she'll just keep coming back."

"But she's creepy."

Camille shook her head. "You thought I was creepy, remember?"

"You're doing this to punish me?"

"No Logan, I'm doing this because this is Hollywood, you learn how to deal with rabid fans or you sink." Then, pulling open her front door, she smiled at a now-scowling Ebony. "Logan's got cold feet about jumping into a new relationship, see, he's not very good at them."

Logan gave her a sideways look. "I wasn't the one kissing your friend."

Camille continued on as if she never heard it. "But we've both agreed this is not my problem anymore so," then, with a wave, Camille shoved Logan forward, stepped backwards and shut the door on them both.

Ebony continued to frown at the door. "She sounds bitter."

"It's complicated." He glanced back down the hallway. "So, Ebony, how about we find Kendall and Jo again?"

"A double date! Sounds like fun!" Then, looping her arm around his, Ebony almost dragged Logan down the corridor. As they turned the corner Camille's door reopened and she glanced down the hall after them, leaning against the doorframe with a frown. Then, pulling her cell phone from her pocket, she began to dial.

…

"Where are they?" Logan paced the front lobby, waiting desperately for any sign of a familiar face, even Bitters would be good, but there were none. Ebony had taken a seat and was now fiddling with her Blackberry. Logan looked up as she gave a triumphant shout. "What?"

"500 hits since my last blog post."

Instantly Logan knew this wouldn't be good but opted to ask anyway. "Really, what do they say?"

"Well, I wrote that all of my friends from we-love-BTR dot ent should come to Cali and see how happy you and I are together." Logan tried to keep a neutral expression. "Unfortunately they can't all make it…"

"Shame." Logan failed to hide the sarcasm.

"But 15 people can."

"What?" He turned towards her. "15 people are coming here to meet me?" He suddenly felt overwhelmed and sat down in the chair opposite.

"Meet 'us' silly. And two journalists. We could be the next big story for Pop Tiger magazine – the singer and the fan. What a story, right?"

Logan's head sank into his hands. "This is not happening."

"I can't believe it either! It's amazing, right?" Logan glanced up and she was beaming. "If I make into a magazine then my parents will definitely let me stay here. I can move into the Palmwoods. We can see each other every day!"

Logan frowned. This was spiralling out of control faster than even he could imagine and he had no Big Time Plans to regain control of it. He needed an ally right now but all he had was…

"Now!" Logan looked up just as a net fell from the roof right onto Ebony. She'd stood and walked around the table in-between them, clearly in an attempt to come sit next to him, but halfway through the walk she'd been captured. She lay tangled in the net now and as Logan stood he saw who was behind it. Camille stepped calmly out from behind the front desk, wrestled the Blackberry from Ebony's grasp, and put a foot softly on the younger girl's stomach like a hunter on it's prey. Then she began to fiddle with the phone. "'Dear fellow BTR lovers. Re: my last post. I hate to tell you this but Logan Mitchell is, in fact, an awful boyfriend. He's indecisive, an abysmal dresser…"

"Hey!" Logan protested lamely.

Camille just held up a hand then continued typing. "… and despite his rather obvious talents as a singer and teen heart-throb, has a very awkward relationship with his ex. For that reason I am leaving LA behind to focus on a career Logan has inspired me to take on – relationship counselling. Wish me luck, oh and don't forget to buy BTR's next album. The new songs I have heard so far have been…'" Camille frowned. "How do you do capital letters?"

Ebony frowned. "The button next to the zero."

Camille grinned down at her prey. "Thank you." Then, with a flourish, she finished up her post. "'AWESOME! Hug hug, kiss kiss, Eb.'" She held the phone up to Ebony. "Is this Miami?" Ebony nodded. "Damn, I've always wanted to go there." She continued typing. "'Mood: excited. Listening to: Oh Yeah by Big Time Rush.'" Camille grinned at Ebony. "That's my favourite, what's yours?"

"Untie me."

"Oooh, don't know that one." Then, pocketing Ebony's Blackberry, Camille knelt down beside her. "Now, Ebony, here's the deal… Logan here has a knack for talking first and thinking later, so when he said all that stuff in the magazine, he didn't mean for you to come all the way to LA."

"We're meant to be together."

"Yeah," she smiled. "We'll let the ropes decide that." Then, pulling a small set of ropes out of a backpack sitting nearby, Camille first gagged then started to tie up the girl, the net still wound around her.

Logan managed to talk again. "Um, what are you doing?"

"Hog-tying her." Camille responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"A new role?"

She grinned. "Nope, just enjoy doing it." She stood as she finished and stuck in her fingers in the sides of her lips, a shrill whistle coming out, and Logan cringed. A few seconds later two large guys appeared and Camille pulled a bus ticket from her pocket. "Make sure she makes it to the 2:15 service." They nodded and picked the girl up as Camille waved her from the lobby.

"What are they going to do to her?" Logan worried, hoping they wouldn't hurt Ebony.

"She's on the next bus to Chicago. Great city. My aunt lives there." Then, without even a look in his direction, Camille walked away.

Logan paused for a second then went after her. "Hey, why did you help me, after what I did?"

She turned slowly, her arms crossed again, and Logan realised it was a defensive position after all. "You really hurt me Logan, what you said, but you were in trouble and I don't leave a friend in trouble." She shrugged. "You may be the smartest guy I know, but you don't understand how this town works, so since you need my help I suggest you stop calling me a stalker!" Then, with a half-smile, she walked away.


End file.
